What to expect from a Boobie Check…


An emosh day & feeling effin drained (arf arf!) following an emosh fortnight of appointment dread after finally getting my ass in gear to get a boobie lump checked out.

And glad I am that I did as after a fair bit of poking, prodding, lubing, rolling, pricking and aspirating, I’m relieved to know it was a benign cyst that needs no more thought or worry.

The hospital staff were all lovely, from consultants, registrars, nurses and the porter who set us down the right corridor.

Important to know for anyone in the same position…

  1. Don’t be embarassed; they’ve seen all types of boobs before and don’t even bat an eye at another set. Except for the poor awkward medical student who may now be sworn off boobs for life after a glimpse into post children sad fun bags. But I could have declined furthering his education. I really wish I’d plucked that wayward hair tho! Cringe!!!!
  2. Turns out piercing a needle into the boob for “aspiration” is not painful… like no worse than a flu jab… infact less painful than that. Even taking 3 attempts… really not sore!
  3. The machine that does a mammogram is amazingly clever…as is the lady that contorts you into it.
  4. It’s the least funway to enjoy lube on the boobs. Nuff said.
  5. If in doubt get checked out. It’s hard taking that leap and facing your fears. For the last fornight there’s been an abyss infront of me that I could not even allow myself to peek into. And my heart aches for the ladies I saw today who may not have got the great news I got, but everyone involved was clear- there are no time wasters here… so don’t fret at home silently- get to the doc and find out more.
    I hope this isn’t sharing too much. Or gushing. Or making too light of a effin scary moment.

I can only be amazed by the strength of ladies that get up and show Big Bully C the birdie.  That must be so hard.

Defo a good sober time to pledge to give more the next time @CRUK fundraising tins come a jingling.