Little Miss Wonder

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Poor Wonder Woman! She ain’t half been getting a bashing from all sides recently!

Whilst the movie critics hailed her as the spearhead of a new era of strong female lead roles in an otherwise male dominated Superhero genre, touted as inspiring role model for young girls, the movie itself gathered stern criticism for being, well a bit shit and the acting being, well, a bit shit too.

Unfortunately, the movie, which was designed to embody female empowerment to a new until-now-never-achieved level, fell a bit short for a lot of potential female devotees. It simply did not engage.

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There were social media cries of “let’s see the real female heroes; the nurses, the breast feeding mothers, the split shift factory workers fighting to feed their families!” along with “Body Shame! I’ve more fat on my left pinkie”. I ask you, however, do these subjects really make for an exciting Saturday Night Blockbuster to go with your coveted weekly gin & tonic?

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Yes, of course, these women are heroes and move metaphorical mountains to ensure the needs of their challenging worlds are met. No one could question this. But… would you bother to perform the 5 minute Makeover, dance the sweaty, escape toddler tango and pay hard earned dosh for your premium charging Saturday night babysitter to go watch a movie about a struggling mum with PND? Or, a mum gaining a small victory over “the corporate giants” by getting to the front of the line with her autistic son? My guess is that, if you are truly honest with yourself, these are stories you would rather watch with a cup of tea at home, positively enhanced by an increase in knowledge into these worlds and your response to an invite to “My Stressful Childcare Situation- the Movie” would be “Nah, let’s go watch “Bad Moms 2”.

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We should not feel guilty about this. Because, in the main, we go to the movies to escape reality, not be held accountable for the injustices in the world or other folk’s hardships.

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Unquestionably, the world of cinema can open our eyes to monumental moments in history, both delightfully uplifting and horrifically evil, but it is not Wonder Woman’s remit to woe you away from the world of historical drama and political thrillers. Nope. The clue is in the name. If you’ve bought the ticket, perched your bum on a flippy padded seat with a paper bag brimming with popcorn balanced on one knee, ready to be enthralled by a woman kicking bad guys butt (in a PG fashion) then you, my friend, have already signed up to the idea that Wonder Woman, by default, is a FICTIONAL SUPERHERO, from the fictional land of demi-gods. As such they are graced with fictionally perfected, sculpted bodies, which they fictionally trained pretty damn hard to maintain. Would I believe in a demi god with cellulited thighs like mine and the stamina of a sloth, who has to dash between playgroup and swimming lessons to the post office to collect a missed parcel.

No. No, I would not.

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One thing I’ve yet to hear is praise for the inclusion of the more mature lady in this world of Amazonian Warriors. Age it seems was no barrier to being as agile as those pesky young whipper-semi-demi-gods (who can keep track?). Hell, I’d rather have dealt with a hangry Wonder Woman than her battle-hardened mentor. She had biceps of steel!

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I fail to see the fault in the supposed promotion of an unachievable female form when from my seat, I saw a wall of female soldier characters, akin to the proud army of female Olympians inevitably toned by months of intensive training and physical endurance. Maybe we should ask them to put some chocolate cookie padding on and nurse a puking toddler to make us all feel better about our saddle bags. The kicker is, some already do!

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The bottom line is, if you don’t think the fantasy world of Superheroes and their fantastical magic powers, looks, bodies and love of latex is for you, the remedy is simple. Don’t watch it. Opt for something more cranially challenging and leave the comic candy alone. Perhaps a movie about female empowerment and being recognised for skills beyond their looks or perceived physicality, using brains, brawn, grit & spit to win the day…. Oh, wait a minute….

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For me, the movie was rubbish, because the story was rubbish and the acting was rubbish. But I happily watched it. I basked in switching my brain off for a couple of blissful hours with two positive outcomes.

1. Good conquered Evil
2. That’s next years Halloween Costume idea sorted.

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